Friday, February 25, 2005


The Blogger's Quiz

And now, on a lighter note...

Frank J. of was, it seemed, highly amused at the latest rantings and ravings of Ted Rall. (Well, so am I. I drew better cartoons than that when I was ten -- and more politically relevant, too.)

So, in a post entitled Who the Hell Do You Think You Bloggers Are?, he introduces a Blogger Quiz, to wit:


1. Who the hell do you think you are?
My driver's license says "Daniel", which means that I'm willing to publish under my own first name... whatever that means. (Want my last name? Dig it up, it's not hard to find.)

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
Not at the moment. But programming at a successful Cambridge startup allows me to buy all the hamburgers I want.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
Oh, sorry. I wasn't aware that journalists needed experience in journalism. (Does Dan Rather have any experience in journalism? Judging by his recent work, you have to wonder.)

4. Do you even read newspapers?
Now and again, to supplement blogs. They also make good drop-cloths and paper airplanes.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
Actually, my wife and I don't watch television, FOX included. That should make for an interesting dilemma: does not watching TV at all make me more ignorant or less?

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
Make up your mind, please. I'm not a radio, nor a moron, nor a "talk", whatever that is. I am occasionally a listener; try talking to me sometime.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
Absolutely. Today Karl Rove made a point of calling me, to remind me to brush and floss. Oops, sorry, that was top secret, I guess you have to die now.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
Actually, I don't want to silence anybody. Once you've watched Al Jazeera, CBS News and CNN seem pretty tame.
As I get tired of repeating, on Citizen Smash and elsewhere -- I'm willing to discuss the issues reasonably if you are. If ad hominem attacks and straw-man arguments are your forte, kindly pick up your dolls and go play somewhere else.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
Actually, I own two passports, both legal and both recognized. (And I'm not afraid to use them! So there.)

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
Gee, that would be hard to do without a passport, huh? But yes, actually, I have. Unfortunately, I currently only speak two languages fluently... but I'm working on a third.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?
I put in my time with the IDF in 1986-1989. Unfortunately, the United States hadn't invaded Iraq yet at that point... and Israel wasn't invited to the party anyway, more's the pity. (You think the 2003 invasion of Iraq was fast? Well, it was... but Israel still holds the MidEast record on that score.)

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?
My, now that's a vivid image, isn't it?
I didn't serve in wartime, no. But I was trained for it, for whatever that's worth.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
Damn, that's disgusting. Put it this way -- I was brought up around dogs, with brief incursions of goats, sheep, chickens, and a horse. Draw your own conclusions.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
Here's who I think I am. Thanks for asking. Have a nice day.

-- DiB


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